because you loved me

今天在工作时，听到了这首歌。。对这首歌的回忆是在中学时期。。
有位很要好的朋友介绍的一首歌。。所以在我听这首歌时，想起了这位朋友。。
中学的回忆，大部分都是在排球队那儿。。排球毕竟陪伴了我四年。。
当时当然还有其他歌曲像是because of you, cant live without you, 李宇春，周笔畅等等
回顾这些歌曲，难免会让我想起了当时的我还有大家。。
现在大家各奔东西，各自向自己的前程努力着，以后一定别有一番作为吧。。

今天工作上遇到了些挫折，但始终好过昨天。。昨天的客人又多，问的问题又废。。
不过由于在self serve department 有太多的产品了，从错误中学习也是更快认识商品的另一途径
好累， 好累。。
每天面临不同的问题，还没解决的，又面对更多不同的问题。。
sien...何时才能停止这一切？？
我想当我踏入社会的那天起，这些问题永远都带着休止符了吧。。

突然好想念你， 你， 你， 你， 你， 还有你， 你， 你， 你， 你， 你 还有你们。。。
You were my strength when i was weak...

TMD

今天真的是ＴＭＤ的。。。　心情真的很不愉快。。。
首先是我昨天lai ye,今天是第二天，心情超不好的。。 昨天心情很平的过一整天。。。
今天一直处于高血压状态。。kanasai 的customers!!!!
老娘今天真的很不爽！！！
当我收到最新的时间表时，真的是！！！ walau eh!!! 
虽然我平时是带着平和的心情在打工， 可是今天真的是。。。
很多问题还没解决，那些人就拼命的烦我！！！问那些没有建设性的问题。。
我又还是新人，很多产品还不知道，问了问题就指望我会知道那样。。
我是新人那个别针是放假的是吗？？
背痛，肚子又痛。。真的是！！！ 客人就。。。气！！
晚餐又吃不多！！！ ISHH！！！

ENGLISH

before i knew that english is an important language..till now i also agree with that..

until i study in UCSI, i got the chance to speak in english, and have more chances wirte in it..

but also wont that frequent using the language.

until i started to work in KL, esprit cafe, i needed to speak in english to the customers.. most customers are english educated, and due to the location of the shop.. i had to speak in english.. i enjoyed the job there ^^

after that, i joined galdon to work.. that is a catering job..

although it just a catering job,u wont think that u have to talk much to the customers... but sometimes we do need to go close to the customers...most of the customers speaking in english rather than other language..sometimes, i dun have the chance talk to them, but from their conversation, i can listen how fluency are their english..i know me, myself, cant speak in that way that's y i'm wondering when can i talk in such way.. years??

now, i'm working in IKEA.. as everybody knows, IKEA is an international company and it is located at PJ. 
in the international company, many workers speak english too even though they know how to speak in their own languange such as malay, cantonese or even mandrin.. 

my working area is at the self-serve department. when the customers come to me, most of them are using english as well.. i'm not surprising with that.. but the only thing i mind is, i really feel ashame of my english.. sigh..

i know i can speak but not that good...

i can understand what people are saying but i just cant answer them in proper ways..sometimes will er er errrrr.... haiz...downgrade ikea customer services quality i think... :((

this is a very good opportunity for me to learn language and many of other things in IKEA...

sometimes i'm a talkative person(while talking in mandrin)

BUT, for these few days, i'm a listener to other people who i do not familiar with and another reason is because i cant tell what i want to tell in english.. additionally, my malay also so so only...

ermm, hope i can adapt with the environment in IKEA.. i like that as i can learn more things...

i need TIME...

算了？ 放了？

我自问我是不懂得安慰他人。。

不知何时开始，我对于别人的事有点变得麻木了。。也许不可以说是麻木。。

很多时候我不是当事人，能做的并不多，说？？ 又有什么资格去说人。。

我是会说废话，太深入的话题，有时能免则免。。 因为我不可能去看透每个人在想什么吧。。

不过有时还是会去留意的。。就像是周遭的朋友为什么不开心等~

有人曾经说过一开始对我的看法。。

他说：一开始觉得我很难相处，甚至觉得会有吵架的一天。。

到后来，他觉得我只是有面墙。。必须翻过那面墙才能更认识我。。

这样讲对吗？？*有说错的地方要提醒我噢*

我不懂我的墙是怎样。。就连我自己都觉得我是个怪人。。

有时会太在意他人的行为。。就会想怎么她/他会这样。。原因在哪？？

想多了，真的太鸡婆了吧。。我是谁噢？？也许在他们的眼里只是个路人甲。。

何去何从又有谁真的在乎（除了家人）

每次说算了，又有哪次是真的算了？

放了？ 又有哪次是真的放了？？

时间吧。。。 时间会让事情都变得模糊。。

算了，放了。。是结果。。。

太过在乎，受伤的是自己。。除非自己愿意去受伤害。。这我就没话说。。。

每次遇回hui jia,她都会说我变了。。

真正变到怎样我不是很清楚，有好几次都想用借口来解释。。

想一想。。变了就是变了吧。。。回到她认识的那个我？？

当初的我是怎样我都不太记得了。。。

我知道的是，我的脾气依然暴躁。。还有一点是，也许有那么一点冷血吧。。。

还有脱发了@@ haiz... T.T

super sad de lor.... T.T

对不起，让你觉得陌生了。。。

first week of nov 2009

i felt quite tired for these few days... dun have a day to take my rest..

finally, i am sick now.. having sore throat... n feel dizzy =.=

yesterday was working at Ericsson.. quite big company...

looking around that company, quite nice..

start from 6am till 7 pm.. reached home at 8pm...

super duper tired...

i hate my black shoes... it made my foot feel pain... n the design quite....

many people said not nice... haiz.... n i agree with that too...

dunno why i had such taste 2 years ago... bought it together with hui zien...

but at different shops...

long time din meet her le... till last wed, we hang out together...

having "fun" at balakong, cheras selatan there...

appreciate her for accompanied me out... i'm looking for new black shoes, but till now i still cant even find one which i satisfied with....

just like just now, i went out with ming them to midvalley...

trying to buy some formal shirts n black shoes....

at the end, i bought a titanium necklace in stead of the things i mentioned... = =

after buying that, i'm poor now...

N my sis just told me that the necklace she bought can cut it short...

haiz... mine got a bit long ba... but here dun have such services... cheh... m'sia???

*understood right...

i wanted to buy it long time ago... because of i always feel tight for my shoulders n easy feel tired bah.... n my sis said that it has the effect too... i trust her... so i made my decision to buy =)

tired tired tired....

but still wanna update my blog... hahaha!!!

hope to find my internship soon.... siennnn~

while working in Ericsson.... HOHO!!

the necklace i just bought... looks simple BUT

spent me a lot T.T

steps???

这几天的心情转换很快，可以在几天之内，改变之前做的决定。。

这也许是件好事。。因这可以让自己的想法没那么执着。。

不过我还是还没找到自己要走的路。。有时感觉就差那一步，但有时当你觉得那会是你停下的步伐时，你又会发现这并不是你要的， 又或者结果并不是你要的， 又或者那一步只是在考验你即将面对的更多难题。。。 执着？？ 有时真的是执着毁了很多东西。。

试着放手，真的会比较好的。。眼前的事物是否会陪到你走到以后的每一步？？

之前回到penang,真的好想多待几天在自己的家里，跟家人出去逛街等。。

不像之前吧，都是喜欢躲在家里，脾气又暴躁得不得了。。 = = 动不动就发脾气。。

前几天回去，过到比较充实，打临时工，陪妈妈出去等。。

还安排了星期二，三，四等要干些什么。。。

这些计划都被突如其来的电话给灭了。。我必须回到kl 去interview....

面试？是很显。。 可是我必须面对这些事情了吧。。 吊儿郎当真的很不应该。。

积极向上？自我勉励？ 我还需要再更努力吧？？

英文讲得又烂。。仔细想想我的优点还真的没有。。 不过我知道我不是个坏人。。我想我的性格比较糟糕吧，知道了又改不了。。 算了吧。。

最重要的是自己知道自己在干什么。。。

看到令自己失望的人或事物， 我只能用无言带过。。

真的是无言以对，没心去理会了。。该说的都说了。。

太在意，只会令自己受伤。。 一笑而过。。对。。。一笑而过。。

脆弱？？每个人都会，是看你怎样面对这份脆弱。。

时间是必要的。。但如果思想过于封闭，只能永远关在一个框框里。。

我还在自己的框框吗？？ 我在看着别人的框框吗？？

工作？我也想。。

但是还要面对交通等等的问题。。实在懒得去想。。不过以处女座的性格。。

在她/他堕落了一段日子后，她/他还是会踏出那一步。。

问题是，我现在还有多余的时间在堕落吗？？

不需要太多的慰问，just leave me alone...

when i need your hands, i will come to you...

i mean u, big sis... no need ask too much question to me...

i'm okay